First Light
by Goldylox62
Summary: Alternate ending to 'Lancelot Du Lac'.


_I was gutted when I watched 'Lancelot Du Lac'! Gwen's gone! I have no doubt that she will return, but in the meantime – I'm writing this to help me get over it. I hope this helps you Arwen fans get over it too!_

**First Light**

_Chapter 1_

Gwen looked up sharply at the knock on her door. She stood up straight and sniffed, wiping her eyes quickly. She walked to her door and paused with her hand on the doorknob. She closed her eyes momentarily and sighed, before opening the door a little.

'Elyan?' she squeaked, stifling a sob.

Elyan looked at her sympathetically as she opened the door wide to let him in.

They stood facing each other, not saying anything, staring.

'What happened, Gwen?' he said quietly.

Gwen closed her eyes tight, but her tears brimmed over and she sobbed loudly. 'I don't know.' She said, shaking her head and looking at the floor.'

'Come here.' Elyan stepped toward her and encased her in his reassuring arms. She snuggled into him and cried openly on to his chest.

'I just… I can't…' she said between sobs.

Elyan rubbed her back reassuringly.

Gwen took a deep breath. 'He sent me away.'

'What?'

Gwen sobbed again. 'He said, he couldn't see me anymore, and that I had to leave Camelot.'

Elyan closed his eyes in dismay.

'Where will I go Elyan? You're the only family I've got left and I don't… I just don't know.'

'Shhhh. It'll be alright, Gwen. It always is.'

'No it won't. Whenever things in my life have gone wrong, Arthur's always been there for me. When Father died, rescuing you… everything. And now I don't know how I'll cope.'

Elyan hugged her tightly. 'I'll come with you.'

Gwen hiccoughed. 'Ha, no you won't.'

'Yes, I will. I'm going to look after you, Gwen.'

Gwen pulled away from him and wiped her eyes. 'Listen to me. You have too much responsibility here. My mistakes should not affect your life in the slightest. So I will go alone. I'll keep in touch; I think I'll go visit Mary first. I'll make sure I'll tell people where I'm going if I move on. You'll be able to find me, I promise.'

Elyan stared at her. 'I'll miss you, Guinevere.'

Gwen nodded sadly. 'Do me one favour?'

Elyan nodded. 'Of course.'

'Don't tell Arthur where I am - or how to find me.'

'What if it's an emergency?'

Gwen smiled. 'I doubt there'll be one, but if anything happens to Arthur, come and get me. I want to see him again someday.'

Elyan opened his mouth to say something.

'Look, I don't expect he'll forgive me after what I've done. I don't expect him to want me to come back, but if he ever does genuinely want me, then tell him. And only then.'

'But Gwen…'

'Promise me.' She said sternly.

Elyan sighed. 'I promise.'

Gwen hugged him tightly. 'Thank you.'

_Next Morning_

Gwen pulled her overloaded wagon away from her house and sighed, looking around back at the castle wistfully. Merlin was perched on a low wall looking at her sadly. She half smiled helplessly and fought back tears. He smiled weakly at her, staring. Gwen turned away slowly and began pulling the wagon away from the castle, but stopped when he heard footsteps running toward her. She turned.

Merlin was sprinting to catch up with her – he grabbed hold of her wagon to slow himself down.

'Gwen. Where are you going?'

Gwen frowned at him.

'No, I mean, you didn't think you could go without saying goodbye did you?'

Gwen smiled and launched himself at him, throwing her arms around his neck. He hugged her back tightly.

'What happened, Gwen? Tell me. What did Lancelot do?'

Gwen pulled away from him. 'What do you mean?'

'Come on Gwen, you can't expect me to believe that this was your fault. Nothing ever is.'

Gwen smiled weakly. 'Honestly Merlin. It is my fault.'

'Just tell me.'

Gwen frowned. 'Well, I first saw Lancelot when you did – at the joust.'

Merlin nodded.

'And then he came to see me later on – at my house. He said that he didn't expect me to still live here, that I'd have had rooms in the castle, what with being engaged to…' She faltered.

Merlin nodded. 'Yeah.' He said quietly.

'Yes. So then he told me that I'd taught him to be true to himself, or something… and he gave me the bracelet that the Mhudhavi people gave him.'

'What bracelet?'

'I don't know, just a silver bracelet.'

Gwen looked out to the hills where the sun was just rising.

'First light. I need to go.'

Merlin nodded solemnly.

'Goodbye, Merlin.'

'Goodbye.'

Gwen gave Merlin one last smile and pulled the wagon toward the gates.

_That's better. Much better. My heart is healing – not quite there yet though. Must write more and more. And maybe a bit more after that._


End file.
